Why I Think Maryland's New Law is Useless

It was recently implemented in Maryland that no one can talk on a phone while driving unless they're talking on speaker or a hands free device. Anyone under 18 can't even talk on a phone at all. It's just a secondary offense but I'm sure cops will find any excuse to pull people over so everyone knows they're super serious.

After considering buying a Bluetooth, I learned how crappy many of them (even the ones for $60) are! So below are some completely legitimate scenarios of what could happen if people are forced to buy one of these little boogers.

    a. Falling off your ear because of a lowsy fit

"OH GOD. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? MY PHONE CONVERSATION IS RUINED. -Freedom!-"

    b. Horrible audio quality

"HELLO? ARE YOU THERE? CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAIN?" "HELLO? I CAN'T HEAR Y-"

    c. Trying to figure out how to operate it

"-RING RING RING- Oh man, how do I answer this again?" "-IMPORTANT CALL IGNORED- Dang it!! How do I call back!?"

Of course there's the alternative of just using your cell phone's speaker phone but, from my experience, it's essentially the same as the second cartoon above.

The scenarios portrayed in those obviously not scanned drawings may seem silly, but so does the idea of people getting distracted by their cell phones while driving.

I'm not saying they should make it illegal for anyone to talk on their phones while driving. When you think about it, there are way dumber things they could be doing with their time and there are plenty of reasonable situations for making phone calls in the car:

 - Getting lost. It'd be a waste of time to get off a highway, find a place to park, call someone for directions, and then continue. I actually got lost recently and had to call my boyfriend to keep myself from having a complete mental break down (Looking back, I'm not sure why I was that upset about it...But I was! And talking to him helped.)

- Reporting an accident. You're on your way to work and you see an accident happen a couple yards ahead, there's no one else in your car to call 911. Would it really be better to just hope someone else driving by has a passenger willing to make the call? NO.

- Wife/girlfriend/mistress is having a baby. I guess being in the car would be a good excuse to miss this... but for the people who don't suck, surely you wouldn't want to wait and call back later.

- You just remembered something really important. Personally, I have a terrible memory. So if I remember something I need to tell someone, I have to tell them within 10 minutes or I'll forget.

I know this will sound like a conspiracy theory, but I'm pretty sure this law was designed in hopes it would nudge the local economy by making people buy these useless hands-free headsets. Because the people who can't look forward and talk at the same time will find other ways to cause accidents without their phones as an excuse.

If there are any Bluetooth enthusiasts who know of a specific model that's actually good and easy to use, let me know. I'm not totally turned off from the idea of getting one. I just think this law is kind of silly.

Moral Haiku:

Hello, who is there?

Oops? Can you hold? I just crashed.

Because I'm stupid.